Reprinted from the August 1, 2006 issue of MANAGER’S LEGAL BULLETIN, a widely read employment law newsletter that communicates legal guidelines to managers through real-life dialogue and concrete examples. Click here to view a sample issue, get more information or sign up for a risk-free subscription.

Can Managers And Employees Be Friends?

Workplace friendships can be both an asset and a liability — especially when a manager befriends a subordinate. On the one hand, having friends at work makes your job more enjoyable. On the other hand, being friends with an employee can create conflicts of interest and call your professional judgment into question. You must find the right balance between being a friend and being a manager.

FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER
“Karly, I need your advice,” Gwen Morris told her manager, Karly Rose. Over the last several months, the two had become quite friendly. They sometimes got together after work or on weekends for dinner or a movie.

“Sure, what is it?” Rose asked.

“Jim told me he needs to meet with me first thing in the morning,” Morris explained. “Do you have any idea what the meeting is about? Should I be concerned?”

Rose shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Morris’s supervisor, Jim Watley, had come to her about a week ago to discuss the employee’s faltering performance. Not only did Rose know what the meeting was about, but she had also counseled Watley in her capacity as department manager on how to handle the situation.

Now, the manager was conflicted. This was the first time that her friendship with the employee clashed with her role as her manager.

“I’m sorry, Gwen, but you’ll have to discuss the matter with Jim since he is your immediate supervisor,” Rose explained.

“But I thought we were friends,” Morris stated sharply.

“We are friends,” Rose reassured. “But I will not step on Jim’s toes just because of our friendship.”

WAS ROSE RIGHT?
Absolutely. Since the workplace is a primary place for socializing for many adults, it is unrealistic to think that managers must adopt a “no friends at work rule.” Many managers have both casual and lasting friendships with colleagues and subordinates. It is important, however, that you be able to separate those friendships from your role as manager, as Rose did. As a management-level employee, your loyalty and responsibility should be to your employer, which pays you to perform a job.

Here are a few suggestions to make friendships work at work.

• Be discreet about the type of information you choose to divulge to a workplace friend. Consider whether divulging the information is unethical. Or what could happen if the friendship goes awry and the “friend” reveals the information to others.
  
  
• Do not allow workplace friends to put you in compromising positions on the job. Remind them of your need to separate your friendship from your role as a manager. A friend who doesn’t understand or respect your professional ethics is not a good friend.
  
  
• Treat all your employees the same and do not play favorites. In other words, you should not provide an employee/friend with information that you would not provide to any other employee. In order to maintain your credibility as a manager with your employees, it is important that you remain objective and not allow your friendships to affect your professional decisions.
  
  
• Check your company’s policy on friendships and fraternization, and follow the rules. Some companies have anti-fraternization policies that prohibit co-workers from socializing outside of work.
  

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