READERS GET ON THE SOAPBOX

Here’s what readers had to say in response to last month's issue on:
THERE'S NO EXCUSE FOR A BAD EXCUSE.

• On the topic of excuses for not coming to work, I had an employee who failed to return from vacation. When I finally got in touch with her and asked her why she hadn't come back to work she said, "I thought you were going to fire me."
  
  
• Excuses: My tires were frozen to the curb...from an employee down South???
  My dog got hit by a bi-state bus.
  
  The power was off and I couldn't get the car out of the garage (electric garage door opened)...I guess no manual release?
  
  
• An employee called in one morning and said he could not get to his car because there was a lot of mud in the yard.
  
  
• A fellow employee of mine at a hospital in south Texas had to call in one morning because there was a gator under her parked car and she wanted to wait for it to leave before trying to get into her vehicle. (Actually, this happens — or used to — more frequently than you might imagine.)
  
  
• My tire had a slow leak and I thought if I went faster it might go flat sooner.
  
  Same employee called in because she was chasing her neighbor's horse....
  
  
• I knew a guy in high school who had a problem with coming to school on time. His excuses were all variations on the "overslept, missed the bus" theme, but the presentation was something else.

  It started when he cut words and letters out of the paper to 'write' his excuse note. The next one was stitched on a pillow. One was created with a wood burning kit, one was incorporated into a watercolor landscape — you get the picture. The favorite was on his birthday — written in icing on a cake.

  I'd love to see if the creativity carried on into his professional life.

• These actually go a bit further back. I am definitely not a morning person myself — and have never been. In high school many who knew me found it amusing that my assigned job at school was to work in the attendance office in the morning. School policy was that when you were late you had to go to the attendance office, complete a form as to why you were late and have it time stamped, signed by parents and returned to your advisor. I frequently completed my form and then got behind the counter to work with others. For unexplained reasons, "overslept" was never accepted as an excuse(!). My own excuses at the time were frequently from Emerson:

  — "If the bell rings, why should I jump?" and
  — "If a man be a man he must be a non-conformist."
  
  My fellow sleepy students were more creative. Two I remember were 1) A dinosaur attacked me and I fought him off, but he grabbed my lunch, and 2) I was kidnapped by aliens and just got away.

  Having been in employment law for four years, I can confirm that the excuses don't change much with age — or 30-year employees!

Note: Responses may have been edited for clarity and length.

Review past issues of HR Soapbox here.

1.
HR Professionals' Toolkit

This CD-ROM gives you quick yet comprehensive solutions to the toughest HR questions and problems you field every day on topics like: performance appraisals, sexual harassment, discipline, conducting legal background checks, legal pay practices, complying with the Family and Medical Leave Act, overcoming workplace negativity...and more. No matter what urgent problem suddenly lands on your desk, you'll never be blindsided when you have this valuable resource at your fingertips.

3.
The Complete Policy Handbook

Shows you how to safeguard against the damage that loopholes in your employee handbook can cause. You'll get a CD-ROM containing a complete set of ready-to-print policies for a foolproof manual of your own...policies that have stood up to courtroom challenges...with language that has worked in defending other employers.

4.
Employer's Guide To Record-Keeping Requirements

Covers all the records, files, and documents demands made on employers by state and federal laws and agencies; as well as what you must post on company property to stay on the right side of employment laws.

5.
Employee Problem Solver

Gives you a solid mix of practical advice seasoned with legal experience for attacking the problem, not the personality, in difficult situations that you and your managers face every day. Each general problem area is designed to offer immediate practical steps for preventing, attacking, and solving tough personnel problems.