IN THIS ISSUE:

1. Feature Story: The Best Of AHI'S Believe It Or Not

2. Cathie's Corner: Can Things Ever Be Going Too Well For HR?

3. Wait Too Long To Terminate, And It Might Be Too Late

4. HR Soapbox: Exercise Your Way To Outstanding Performance

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1. FEATURE STORY:
THE BEST OF AHI'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Here is the best and the worst of 2007.

Worst Excuse For An Absence: A salesman took several months of paid leave in order to care for his three-year-old son who had cancer. Only after learning that the boy had succumbed to the disease and the employer tried to send flowers to the family did it come to light that the employee had concocted the whole story. He was ordered to pay $52,527 in damages.

Worst Use Of Text Messaging: A German employee didn't want to go to work because she couldn't repay a co-worker the equivalent of about $32. So she sent her parents a text message saying she had been kidnapped. After a massive search ensued, she was miraculously “set free” the next morning.

Worst Use Of Text Messaging II: In a desperate attempt to win a jackpot to buy a new car, a bus driver in Poland used his company cell phone to send 38,000 text messages. He sent an average of 1,200 messages a day, each costing $0.86. Under company policy, bus drivers' monthly cell phone bills were not to exceed $5. The cost of trying to win a $36,000 jackpot? $34,000.

Best Reason To Ban iPods: Two men robbed the safe of an ice cream shop while an oblivious iPod-listening employee stood nearby.

Worst Reaction To A Raise Request: The owner of a car dealership in Georgia confessed to shooting to death two employees who kept asking for raises. The owner said he was under a lot of stress due to financial problems and just snapped.

Best Way To Get Your Own Raise: A temp worker approached his supervisor and offered to give him half of his paycheck if the supervisor arranged to have the worker remain on the payroll in name only. The supervisor not only agreed to submit phony work hours to the temp agency for the worker, but he also recruited other temp workers and even created fictitious workers. He ultimately pled guilty to embezzling more than $1 million from the temp agency.

Worst Ignorance Of The Law: In response to a class action lawsuit claiming unpaid overtime and missed meal and rest breaks, the Chinese Daily News in California claimed that any discrepancies in pay were balanced by the car loans, pension programs, and health benefits it provided. Since wage and hour laws don't work like that, the employer was ordered to pay over $2.5 million.

Worst Customer: Unhappy with the late delivery of his pizza, a man drove to the pizzeria and attacked the manager with a machete, who, fortunately, only sustained a cut on his palm.

Worst Customer II: A Washington, DC, administrative law judge (ALJ) filed a $54 million lawsuit against his neighborhood dry cleaner for failing to live up to its “satisfaction guaranteed” sign. He claimed it lost a pair of his pants, and the pair it tried to return were not his. The ALJ sought $1,500 for every day the cleaner hung that sign over a four-year period, multiplied by the three owners; he also sought $15,000 to rent a car to bring his clothes to a different cleaner for 10 years. The case was dismissed, but the owners closed the business. The ALJ lost this job when the city elected not to reappoint him.

Best Wishes: This will be the last issue of Employment Law Today for 2007. The Editors would like to wish you a happy holiday season and the best of the best in 2008.

2. CATHIE'S CORNER:
CAN THINGS EVER BE GOING TOO WELL FOR HR?

Something's wrong here. The Boston Red Sox are the reigning world champions. As of this writing, the New England Patriots are undefeated, and the Boston Celtics have the best record in the NBA. Even the Boston Bruins are in playoff contention (though it's really pointless to be talking playoffs this early in the season). And the New England Revolution soccer team are the Eastern Conference champions, even if they did lose the Cup. This is Boston…where we consistently have our hearts broken by our sports teams? There's got to be a disaster waiting to happen. We're gonna have a meltdown somewhere, sometime soon.

Ever feel like this at work? Open enrollment went smoothly. You only got a 3% increase in your insurance premiums. You got approved for the two new full-time employees you wanted. While you didn't get the full budget increase you wanted, you still got a 5% boost. The boss signed off on the new policy you wrote without any questions. And unemployment found in your favor on that really outrageous claim your former employee put in. So, what disaster is waiting around the corner?

If you're lucky enough to be in the situation described above, relax and enjoy it. It's a good thing to start the new year on an up note — don't turn it into a bad thing by worrying about when the other shoe is going to drop. Try to come up with some ideas to keep yourself and your workforce on a positive beat.

Have you already had your company holiday party, and the bonuses have been handed out? Organize a departmental lunch sometime in January so that there's something to look forward to. Or a grab bag with inexpensive gifts for your staff. Consider IOUs for a half day off to be used during the first quarter. Or provide the product or services of the company to employees for free for a short time. When I was working for a hotel, the owner gave everyone a free night for themselves and one other person, in the room of the employee's choice (subject to availability), any night they chose, before April 30. Even just a note saying thank you for a job well done can be a way of keeping your staff's spirits up as we go into the new year.

For yourself, what's your pet project that you never seem to have time to work on? When things are going well and you're not spending all your time solving problems, now's your chance! It might be a good time to try to get started on some of those “backburner” projects: updating the employee handbook; researching vendors for the new benefit you want to offer next summer; getting a good handle on the new compensation program.

These times don't happen often enough that we can afford to waste them worrying about things that may or may not ever happen. Instead of worrying, do what you can to keep the good mood going!

Happy holidays, everyone!

Catherine Bannon is an HR consultant in Marshfield, MA (catherine.bannon@gmail.com). Bannon worked for 10 years in HR management before starting her consulting practice.

WAIT TOO LONG TO TERMINATE, AND IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE

An employee's inappropriate behavior should not be taken lightly, let alone tolerated for a long time. Firing an employee for legitimate behavior issues may look like a suspicious excuse to a court, if...View the full story on our website.

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