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1. FEATURE STORY:
WHEN FRIENDSHIPS BLOSSOM BETWEEN
MANAGERS AND SUBORDINATES

With Valentines' Day right around the corner, expect plenty to be written about workplace romances. But even platonic friendships with co-workers can be difficult to navigate, as potential conflicts may arise between your management role and your friendship with an employee. While it's important to have friendly relationships with employees — after all, you probably spend more time with each other than with your own friends, and a good relationship with their manager can have a greater effect on employee retention than a good benefits package — here's how to prevent workplace friendships from putting you in a compromising position.

Do make it a general rule to not talk about work-related matters in a social setting. Even if you're not at work, you are still a member of management. So those conversations you wouldn't have in the office ("Guess whose wife is leaving him for another man?") don't become any less inappropriate outside of the office just because you're hanging out with an employee as friends.

Caveat: One conversation that you will want to continue is if an employee sends the message that he/she may be experiencing harassment or discrimination at work. Any notice that you receive — at any time — of potential harassment or discrimination triggers your duty to act accordingly to remedy the situation.

Do think twice about revealing your personal information. Friendships between supervisors and subordinates can easily sour if the employee is negatively affected by a management decision that you have made or have to carry out (e.g., you have to discipline the employee, you give a negative performance appraisal). If a work friendship goes awry, the last thing you want is for the disgruntled friend to broadcast your "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" type stories.

Do make clear your expectations. Remind friends of your need to separate the friendship and the work relationship. Be direct: "I can't discuss that with you”; “You need to see Jane about this"; "If you were in my shoes, would you feel comfortable talking about this?" Rethink your friendship with those who do not understand or respect the lines you have drawn.

Don't give special treatment to your friends. Other employees will resent the "teacher's pets" and will resent you for having them.

Don't force friendships. While some employees prefer a tight-knit department and a close relationship with the boss, others may not be too keen on going out to lunch or for happy hour with the gang. Never give the impression that the latter group will suffer for it.

Do respect others' privacy. Showing an interest in employees' personal lives is one thing; prying into their lives is another. Beware of asking questions that are too personal, and be sensitive to how employees' react to any questions about their personal lives.

CHAT WITH YOUR COLLEAGUES ABOUT...HANDBOOK REVISIONS/UPDATES

"We're in the process of updating our handbooks for all our companies and I'm wondering if anyone has any horror stories or suggestions on making an easy transition. I don't foresee any major changes, I think the worst that can happen is a holiday being removed from the list"...View the responses in our forum.

FREE REPORT

Check out the new Free Report "HR Guide For Managing Problem Employees Successfully And Legally," which contains useful advice on how best to solve common employee problems, such as the employee who pockets office supplies, workers who constantly bicker, those who make a habit of not turning in their time sheets — and many more!

In this feature, see how well your knowledge of the twists and turns in employment law measures up by judging an employer's fate in a common workplace...View the full story on our website.

Kick back, relax, and take a few minutes to check out the HR Soapbox, “Monday-Morning Quarterbacks In Your Workplace? You Can Bet On It!,” in which an editor offers suggestions for getting office pool madness under control.